29th Aug 2008
And this one has nothing to do with my weight..
I would not be a truthful blogger if I didn’t bring my life into the blog. I mainly focus on weight issues and how that affects my life, but events happen to all of us that are so profound we can’t ignore them.
My precious little friend Harry (When people met him they thought he was a dog, but he had us all fooled) passed on to the great backyard full of squirrels in the sky yesterday.
Since you may not know Harry I thought I’d share a few pictures with you - and if you have a special friend like this make sure you take a lot of pictures - with you in the picture. I found many pics but I took them so am not IN many of them.
Kitty and Harry Mother's Day 1997
This was right after a theatre production Neil and I did at Gulfport Little Theatre titled, Family Reunion. Randy Brewer (the guy that introduced Neil and I in 1975) and his wife Sally had come down from Jackson, MS to see it and of course Harry had to get in on the action.
Harry 2003
Here Harry is in his favorite place in the world - my bed.
And this is Eddie, our son and Harry our other son..If you’ll notice we long ago made the decision to purchase furniture that matched Harry. He was HAIRY!!
Here we have Neil and Harry Jamming on the guitar. Harry was an excellent song writer and colaborator with Neil. Neil always depended on his honesty.
And here are my main men! Neil, Eddie and Harry watching football. Harry was a huge New Orleans Saints fan!
So this is a brief glimpse into our life with our little friend Harry. A more dear soul never lived..
We will miss him…
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27th Aug 2008
If you’re overweight this is not true… I know because I tried on enough of that size and finally quit.
I had a weird day yesterday. I found myself talking to overweight friends and strangers about losing weight. But it was awkward. How do you talk about that or even bring it up?
First there was a very dear friend that I called to wish a happy birthday to. She and I had a great conversation but when I asked about her health she said she’s fat and sassy. Then the conversation turned to her putting herself down just enough that I felt I had to jump in and stop her. And “B” if you’re reading this keep reading because this will not only help you but anyone else who feels this way.
I told her she’s okay just like she is. (and you are!) Of course she’s gambling with her health, but she knows that. She’s an adult after all. I always got mad (and I mean my claws came out) whenever someone brought up the subject of my weight to me. I made it so that no one questioned me about it. They didn’t dare without risking getting their head chewed off…so why did I feel it was okay to begin a dialogue with my friend. I don’t have an answer to that, but I couldn’t stop myself and by the time our conversation finished I think she was empowered to try to look into a change. A wall came down, at least it felt like it did.
Then last night at the bank I was waiting to meet a bank officer about a business issue and a couple was ahead of me at the officer’s desk I had an appointment with. The husband thought he recognized me so I asked him if he ever watched Good Day LA and he and his wife both said yes they did. I told them I had been on the show (I forgot to tell them about the webcasting) in June and maybe that’s where they saw me and they were excited and asked why I was on the show. I told them I was developing a diet cooking show and my segment was about that. The couple, who both have a weight issue, seemed genuinely interested, but I could tell this was a tender subject. I remember how my skin would literally get hot when someone talked about diets or diet food or anything realated to losing weight, so I knew that this would be a leap to just jump into it with a stranger. I gave them my card that has the web site on it (and if you’re reading this now, just know that when I blog it is to help anyone who wants help and your story is my story and every one who has a weight issue’s story. We’re all in this together.) and the husband asked me how long it took me to lose weight and how much is the plan? I told him it took me a year and that my web site is free. He was surprised by that and I was caught off guard by the “plan” question. I don’t have a plan per say, but just a different way of eating. If you take all the fat and sugar out of food then you will lose weight, you just will. It may only be a pound a month but that’s one pound you no longer have to lose.
And I reckon what this brings me to is - no matter who it is, how to you approach this subject? I felt the very same uneasiness with someone I love and know well that I did with someone I just met. If you are worried about someone and want to help - how do you do it? Can you do it? Is it possible to bring weight up without being hurtful?
I feel so deeply about this, I hope that feeling is what comes through. So even if the person I’m have the ‘weight’ conversation with feels uneasy that they also feel from me that I only wish for them to have success. And by that I mean success in coming to terms with their own lives, weight, happiness and whatever that means to them. I think people are entitled to never lose weight if that’s what they choose. Five years ago I had given up and felt I would be fat forever and look at me now!
When I was talking to the husband I just met I told him that my new way of eating helped me quit hating myself. He said he doesn’t hate himself and maybe he doesn’t. And maybe that was the wrong choice of words from me, too. I didn’t really hate myself while I was fat, but I did feel guilty that every other part of my life was in my control except my weight. We all have bad habits, and overeating is more than a bad habit - it’s a bad habit that can kill you (EATING FEELS SO WONDERFUL - it’s hard to come to terms with how something that gives you so much pleasure can be so “kill you when you least expect it and way too young” deadly), and it also shows. I overate all the time and I was fat. No matter how many jackets, sweatshirts and big t-shirts I wore - you can’t hide a body the size mine had become.
So, I’m learning as I go. If I offend you in this blog, please let me know. I’m new to being on the other end of a weight issue. People see me and if they didn’t know me from before they think I have always been my new size (still can’t use the word slim), so I think it’s terribly important that I have my business cards that have my before and after picture on them. It’s hard to picture someone 60 pounds heavier without a picture. So I’m glad I had them yesterday.
There’s no one size fits all as far as bringing up the subject goes either. I’m finding that out too.
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22nd Aug 2008
Not sure if Shakespeare ever thought that quote would show up in a weight loss cooking blog? Shakespeare would have been a good blogger is my guess. He was surely prolific.. and from paintings of him, he may have had weight issues..
The quote as it pertains to me should really read, “To thine own self be HONEST.” I have found that living an honest life, where it pertains to food, has been the single most important thing that has happened to me. If you don’t know what I mean or if you’re also in denial about what you might be doing - here are a few things I did and am tempted to still do…
1. Adjust the scale so when I step on it the number will be the least it can possibly be. I have a place in my bathroom where the floor is uneven and I can manuver the scale just right and it will read at least 2 pounds lighter.
2. Not eat or drink water the day I go to Weight Watchers so I will weigh the least I can possible weigh. Not healthy and this had to stop.
3. Buy ice cream and think I can resist it. I’ll eat the whole carton. I just don’t buy it.
4. Buy potato chips and think I will eat 14 of them. I’ll eat them all.
5. Not eat or drink anything when I have a doctor’s appt so I will weigh the least I can possibly weigh. My doctor is very proud of my weight loss so don’t have to do this anymore.
6. Think I can go to a fast food joint. I can’t. I wanted french fries so bad yesterday I almost did this but my foot pushed down on the gas and I kept driving.
7. Lie about exercising. O.K. here’s one that needs work.
8. Lie about how much I weigh. Not a problem anymore.
9. Lie about what I ate today. This is a struggle, but so far so good.
10. Lie about what size pants I wear. Anthing under a 20 is good for me these days. I never purchased a 22 but that was my next size up. What’s in a size anyway. It’s how you look and feel that counts! Just love yourself.
11. Not love me. This one is a stuggle everyday. I’m not sure why and I can’t speak for everyone, but as for me - there was and maybe still is something broken in me that makes me think I don’t deserve to feel and look good. I’m still working on that and if you have those same feelings - just know you are NOT alone! I love me now - but I do have to remind myself of that on occasion.
And there are so many more. With every new day there is a new challenge. Losing weight is very hard and keeping it off is just as hard. But it’s sure worth the effort.
If you are not living an honest life that might be a first step. Eat whatever you eat in front of people. If you buy three cheeseburgers, make sure you eat them in front of someone who knows and cares about you. You will feel diffferently about that experience if you do that one thing just one time. It’s life changing. Because in essence you are eating in front of yourself for the first time. If that person loves and cares about you, you will feel how painful it is for them to see you doing this to yourself. This is the thing you should see and feel yourself - about yourself. You need to love you and worry about you - and wake up!
And just so you know, I don’t have all the answers. I still want to overeat - but to modify Shakespeare - to my ownself I have become honest. Even if I fail I did it honestly. No more secrets.
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14th Aug 2008
PEOPLE READ THEM!!
All you bloggers out there probably already know this but I’m new to this medium. When I feel like blogging I just sit in front of my computer and write whatever in the heck I feel and it’s almost like I forget that anyone but me will care.
Well, News Flash! When you write down your thoughts, and you really reveal things, someone is going to care. My good buddy in the weight loss war read a blog I posted yesterday and called me out on it…and thank goodness she did. I was whining about guilt and Weight Watchers and all kinds of things that ultimately were pretty selfish and only about me.
This blog is intended to help anyone who wants it to. For me to start complaining and whining like a third grader doesn’t do anyone any good - even me.
I love my new “lighter” life. I can wash my feet in the shower without my head feeling like it will pop off from the pressure of bending over - I can cross my legs (okay that may not seem like a big deal, but if you can’t you know) - I can order a desert in a restaurant without feeling like people are looking at me saying “Well, no wonder she’s fat” - I can walk up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing - I can buy clothes in a regular store (meaning NOT Walmart’s sweat pants aisle) - and I can look at myself from the rear (I can actually stand to take a mirror and see what I look like from the back. Never have I ever felt comfortable with that)
And this site is dedicated to helping anyone who wants it to - for them to be able to do all those same things. If you do not have a weight issue you have no idea how hard life is overweight. And the perplexing thing is how hard it is to get on the road to a healthy weight.
I will try to do a better job of focusing on my mission here and not myself. Yesterday was an “Oops!” moment - but I am fortunate to have a watchful eye on me keeping me straight so I can help you get or stay straight.
Thanks for the wake up call. I deleted that post.
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8th Aug 2008
I know this is going to sound weird, but I haven’t washed lettuce in so long I can’t remember when I used to do that. Now I don’t eat it dirty mind you, but I’ve been buying bagged lettuce for FOREVER! and never gave a thought to how much it cost. I just thought if I wanted a salad I’d grab a bag of lettuce, cut up a tomato and presto chango I have a salad. I mean losing weight is hard enough without having to actually wash anything and prepare it. HA!
And I guess it’s not funny after all. The economy is really bad right now. Neil and I are saving for a house (still looking) and one thing that I had to do was put us on a grocery budget. We’ve been so blessed that for years I’ve gone into the grocery and just bought whatever I wanted to buy. I gave very little thought to how much it cost.
Now I give it a lot of thought and wonder to myself “What was I thinking? Or NOT thinking?” Food costs are through the roof. I started shopping the sales online and can’t believe how much money I can save. I’m so excited I can hardly stand it. I set a budget and we can actually meet it and we haven’t given up much. Of course if you don’t like wine in a box my budget may not be for you but the box stuff is good once you realize that it helps you save for that house you wanted.
And washing lettuce only takes a few minutes. And it stays fresher longer. The bagged stuff was convenient but didn’t last. I wash my romaine and then roll it up in paper towels and put it in the fridge. It stays fresh for 2-weeks!
I guess you can teach an old Kitty new tricks.
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