31st Dec 2008
Don’t worry..I’m not gonna talk about the election or the economy or any of those trivial things that occurred in 2008. No - I’m going to review the year in “Weight”.
2008 had everyone talking about how Kirsty Alley had gained her weight back, Valerie Bertinelli wrote a book about her weight loss (although I read it and that only comes at the end) and the Style Network raked in the dough with a show about an overweight woman named Ruby who is struggling with her weight. Just another year for the weight loss industry to capitalize on all of us again. They make BILLIONS on people just like me who thought for years there was a “cure” for this. And I must say that it astonished me, once I finally lost weight, to find out that I still had all the same urges that made me fat. I had some ridiculous notion that once I lost weight I was going to be “normal” and all those crazy things I think about food would go away. Well, that didn’t happen and I have come to grips with the fact that I will always have a part of me that is quite literally crazy about food.
I saw where Oprah is going to start all over again on Jan 5th with a new “Live Your Best Life” series and part of it is devoted to her weight gain. She always has the best and brightest come and share advice..but what she hasn’t understood yet is that none of these experts can cure her. We are all (all of us in the overweight community) looking for that elusive (nonexistent) CURE! And the sad fact is, there isn’t one. Ever. Period. Oprah will lose weight again and she’ll help millions do the same thing - and that’s a good thing, but until she and all she leads understand that once the camera is off and the show ends those food demons (I call mine Fat Kitty) will jump right back on her. They know where she lives and they know ALL of her weaknesses.
I wish you the best Oprah. I see in your face the same look I have shown on my on face for years. I want this to go away and not be the ‘thing’ that dominates my life. So far that hasn’t happened but accepting that has made it easier for me. I hope you see this too. I wish I could come cook for you for a month. I could change your life.
My recipes could help anyone. I DO eat right 90% of the time. And I eat fruits and veggies and baked fish and chicken.. BUT there are times that I WANT and NEED FRIED CHICKEN! I can’t explain it and refuse to feel guilty and bad about it ever again.
When Fat Kitty comes callin’ I just look up a favorite junk food recipe and go to town eatin’ on it. And I will NEVER be fat again. (I hope)
So 2008 was a great year for me. I didn’t gain weight and I ate like there was no tomorrow (at least 2-3 times a week). I wish I knew Kirsty Alley. I could help her. I wish I knew Oprah. She helps so many people in so many ways..I wish I could cook for her in her house for a month. She’d be changed forever and she’d never gain her weight back.
Who knows? Maybe 2009 is the year we’ll meet!
Happy New Year to everyone out there who struggles with this issue. We are all in this together; whether you’ve lost weight, just beginning to lose weight or if you cannot lose anything and/or choose to stay the way you are. You are all beautiful.
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23rd Dec 2008
…with all the candy, cookies and various other food bombs that are falling all around us?
I think this is the first year in my life so many people have given me food as gifts. I’ve always been so overweight no one ever gave me food. I don’t know why because since I was fat, food seemed like the logical thing to give me because I obviously liked it - too much. So, now that I am no longer overweight I’m getting bombarded with the stuff. And I mean everything from exquisite chocolate to homemade cookies and muffins and great day in the morning YIKES! I’ve had to give it all away. I don’t tell anyone that because some of it looks expensive and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
I guess so many of these very sweet people (who are all slim) never knew me as a fat person and just don’t get that I can’t have that kind of food around me. No one gave me carrots, which I hate! No problem avoiding those babies! But warm homemade cookies and expensive chocolate. ITCHY WOWOW! So I got rid of it..in the nick of time. It was hard to do this at first - in my mind I started making up all the scenarios of how to hide it and eat on it a bit at a time so maybe I wouldn’t gain weight and then WOW I said SHUT UP FAT KITTY! And now it’s gone.
Thank goodness it’s gone.. It might as well be heroin.
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18th Dec 2008
Okay - it’s the holidays. The most wonderful time of the year. But for people like me it’s like navigating a minefield. Every where you go there’s food. The grocery has mountains of cakes, cookies and cupcakes all red and green, the office has cookies that people have given as gifts, you can’t go to someone’s home without some great smell coming from the kitchen and parties - parties are the worst. And maybe the best. Think about this - At a party there are people all around. The temptation to overeat is not as great when people are around (for me anyway). But the grocery, that’s another story. For example - I (Fat Kitty) have stopped by the grocery on the way to work and bought pastry, cookies and muffins along with a gallon of milk and cups to look like I’m buying stuff for an office party - and then gone somewhere and eaten what I wanted of it. I usually threw away the milk and cups - so there’d be no evidence. By the time I got to work I sure wasn’t hungry so if someone brought something by I could easily say ‘no thanks’ and everyone thought I was staying on a diet! And so strong to turn down cookies during the holidays.
I think about that when I see an overweight person with party stuff in their cart. Are they really going to a party or out to the parking lot to consume all of that. When I did things like that I usually picked up a few things for the house to make it look as normal as possible. I know people who do not think about that when they buy food to overeat. By the time I hit maximum density (my biggest) I didn’t care either. That’s why I think it’s so hard when you get to a certain point to go back. I had the “why should I care anymore” syndrome. It’s a miracle that I ever tried one more time after the million other diets I had been on. But I guess sometimes it takes a million and one.
Be aware of how grocery stores set up food for impulse buying. Be aware that your defenses are down this time of the year. When a family member tells you that they baked something special just for you, if you are maintaining your weight and feel comfortable eating it then that’s one thing - but if you know you will lose control if you take one bite - do whatever it is you need to do to take care of yourself. If that means kindly accepting the food gift and then throwing it away - do it! If that means putting it in the freezer (which never stopped me from eating it by the way) then - do it! If it means that you must tell your family member that you simply cannot accept their gracious gift so to please give it to a needy food bank - do it.
This time of the year can be loads of fun - it can also be loads of fat.
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14th Dec 2008
Have any of you seen “Ruby” on the Style network? I can’t take my eyes off this show and I would have included a link to the show but the site wouldn’t cooperate this morning. I don’t know where they found Ruby, herself, but what a gem. She’s on a weight loss journey and it will be a long one. She’s almost 500 pounds, so I wish I could reach her. The team that has her on a diet has prepackaged all of her food and that’s one thing that drives me nuts. How can they expect a person who has been out of control all of her life to suddenly be okay with eating food that comes premeasured and cooked. (you might as well be telling her not to blink because it’s that hard to do) The food looks like something you get from a vending machine. And what happens when she’s done? Those meals have to stop at some point and she’s on her own. Kirsty Alley is an example of what happens when you follow a plan that doesn’t include learning how to cook your own food and serve yourself. Now my way of cooking and eating came from my desperate attempt to save myself…but so far it’s actually working. I mean I had ribs, new potatoes, roasted pears and chocolate moose pie last night! I’m making cinnamon toast right now for breakfast.
I know Ruby has serious issues. She’s very overweight and has a long journey ahead of her, but how can these lame brains think she can do this for YEARS if the one thing she is addicted to is completely taken away from her, meaning the ENJOYMENT of food. (Not the abuse, but for me at least there’s a real enjoyment issue here - food is one of the enjoyments of life)
I am going to try to reach out to her. But of course the corporation that is sponsoring her prepackaged food will fight me to keep having it on the show. Ruby is another person the weight loss INDUSTRY is using to their advantage. I hope they help her but as soon as she quits making them money they’ll drop her like a hot potato - pun intended!
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2nd Dec 2008
for not gaining too much over the holiday…
I’m up 3 pounds and so need to pull back. I had a wonderful holiday and hope you did too. I’m still trying to figure out how much I can eat (since I lost weight - and I have such a skewed vision of what’s normal) and since the food I eat is so low in calories and sugar I dove right in this past weekend. I ate like a P.I.G. -pig (To quote Animal House)! Katie bar the door! is how I ate and I’ve been terrified to get on the scale - but last night, even though I had just eaten dinner, so not empty (my peeps in the overweight community know what I’m talking about here. I always weighed in the morning before I ate anything and after I had been to the bathroom so TOTALLY EMPTY) I got on the scale anyway. Up only 3! I weighed 128! So I thankfully got off the scale and almost cried. For the first time in a million diets going up and down and up and down - it looks like this one is the keeper! I’m really NOT going to be fat ever again.
Eating this way means more than I ever dreamed…I don’t believe in looking back, but I do wonder what my life would have been…. But today is the first day of the rest of my life - corny but so true.
And now it’s on to Christmas. I’ll be sure and make some of my mulled wine and no bake cheese cake and who knows what else? This is amazing. I’m really not going to gain it all back. I’m in shock…
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