My breakthrough in bingeing!
12th May 2010
After 4 years of having lost weight and the daily work of keeping it off - something happened today that is truly remarkable. I went on a bender but what I wanted to pig out on was not delicious and so after three bites - I quit eating. I had shut the door to my office (Sneaky Fat Kitty had come to visit) and was ready to hunker down and eat - and after three bites I quit.
My boss Dave Bell used to give away one pound boxes of dark chocolate with his logo on the block of chocolate for Christmas each year. He didn’t do it this past year but he had two boxes left from the year before and one box from two years ago. I went into his office to do something and I spied the one box that was 2 years old. Knowing that he’d never give two-year old chocolate to anyone I talked myself into thinking that this would be okay. That he’d never miss it. And Fat Kitty doesn’t care how old the chocolate is - I mean this is one pound of luscious dark chocolate. She’s never been picky before.
So I tore open the packaging and looked at it. There it was - a pound of chocolate. My mind was telling me that this was not a good thing to do but then I walked over to the door of my office and shut the door, like I’ve done a thousand times before - knowing that I’m about to do something I shouldn’t do.
I sat at my desk and tried to break off a piece to eat. It was too hard to break so I got a knife and after a minute of sawing I was able to get a chunk ready to eat. I chomped down and felt the chocolate in my mouth. It was - WHAT - tasteless????? What’s going on here. So I took another bite and ate it and then another and this was not going as I had hoped because the chocolate was AWFUL! Hard and tasteless and old. So I threw away the remaining part of the chunk and then threw away the remaining block - box and all.
This might sound like a bad thing, but I’m choosing to see it for what it is - a breakthrough for me. I have over-eaten most of my life - many times and a variety of foods - and it never matter if it was delicious or not. It was just food and I was eating it. This was tasteless - and so I stopped.
Maybe Fat Kitty finally got picky about food, or maybe my good sense kicked in. I don’t know. I only know that this was another example of how good habits can overtake bad ones if you give them half a chance.
There are two more bars of chocolate in Dave’s office from a year ago - but he should not give them to anyone. If Fat Kitty won’t eat them - no one should.
A blog is about being honest - so when I am doing things that I question I want to share them with you - in case you behave this way on occasion too. We are not bad people. We just want to eat. But hopefully by me telling you this story it will make you feel more comfortable with being honest with yourself. If I can tell you a story like this - you, only talking to you, can surely be honest with yourself.
